I think it depends on the context. In many cases, you should try to find it in your heart to say “yes” because in my (extensive) experience people usually only ask when they want to sit next to a family member or closer to children, etc.
Some trades are absolute no-brainers in terms of saying yes. If it’s trading an aisle seat for an aisle seat, window for window, or middle for middle – then what difference does it make? Say yes.
Some trades are actually beneficial for you – for example, moving from a middle to an aisle. Whenever I’ve foreseen a problem in which I’m going to need to ask for a trade to sit by my family, my objective in selecting my seat is to pick one that is more desirable than the one I want – so that I can offer someone, for example, an aisle in exchange for a middle that I need for my family.
But in the end, if someone is offering you a worse seat, and for some reason that isn’t good enough, I think the best approach is to just be friendly and polite and say “no.” If someone is asking you to give up a nice aisle seat in exchange for a middle, then a friendly rejection isn’t likely to make them go crazy – and if they do, it’s their problem, not yours.
Paul Cox – Seattle-London.
I had an aisle exit row seat (which, of course, I paid extra for) and a very genteel-looking little old lady was sitting in the seat when I arrived.
She said in a fine English accent “oh, would you be a dear and trade seats with a little old lady? I’m just over there” (pointing across the aisle to her middle seat- but it was on a widebody, so there wasn’t extra leg room there.)
Normally I just say “no”. That’s about as diplomatic as I bother with.
(If you’re thinking it’s not very diplomatic, consider that the alternative I often consider is something along the lines of “go f*** yourself, I paid decent money and I’m not trading to a worse seat”.
Also worth noting is that I’m 6’1″, and for several years I’ve been troubled with a torn hip labrum and often can’t sit still for more than 50-60 minutes without getting up- so that aisle seat with legroom is a pretty big deal to me, but at a glance, I don’t seem very “handicapped”.)
But she asked very nicely, so I decided to go with the “confuse them” method and said “oh, gosh, that’s very nice of you to offer, but I’ll just stick with my assigned seat, but THANK YOU!”
She got a very strange look on her face- almost evil, I thought. (Turned out I was right.) She grumbled about how a young man should respect his elders… while I stood there waiting patiently for her to get out of the seat.
Since it was obvious I wasn’t going to change my mind (I threw my bag into the overhead and my pack under the seat in front of her- her shit was naturally on the middle seat next to her) she picked up and moved to her seat.
Flight continues to load. Sure enough, back from the bathroom comes a youngish mom and her lap baby, and they sit in the aisle seat, penning the old lady in. Ahhh, no wonder she wanted to move!
Fast forward a couple of hours. Baby is good during takeoff and climbout (mom had apparently done her homework, as she fed the baby during the climb- that helps their ears pop, and pressure from the ears is often why they cry) but starts fussing.
Little old lady starts giving the mom shit. It was so interesting to listen to her, I turned off my music to eavesdrop. Hey, it’s a long flight, I was bored.
Anyway, winds up that the little old lady was Satan’s wife or something, because she was just being horrible to the mom. Eventually the lady goes to complain, intentionally stepping on the mom’s feet as she left (I watched the whole thing and am 100% convinced it was intentional.)
I get up to follow.
I’m “in line” for the toilet and listening to the little old lady, and she’s just saying a bunch of trash and demanding that they move her to business or first class. Flight attendant says they’ll talk to the purser. Lady heads back up to her seat.
Purser comes back and the FA starts telling the story. I interrupt and introduce myself… as an employee of the FAA (air traffic controller) and at the time, married to my now-ex-wife (a flight attendant) I’m able to speak the lingo and immediately connect.
I explain who I am, what I saw, and tell them “you should tell that little old lady to shut her mouth, she’s a mean drunk” (she had been throwing them back, of course).
They did wind up moving her, and did it with that killer British underspoken revenge factor. I go up and sit down. Purser shows up a few minutes later, asks the lady her name, explains that he understands she’s not happy due to the baby, of course these things are sometimes unavoidable but after a search he has managed to locate a suitable seat to relocate her, can he please take her bag for her… she shoots the mom a “haha” look, gets up, starts forward… and he says “oh, no, ma’am, please follow me”.
And he put her in a nice non-reclining middle seat in the back row next to the toilet. Ahahahahahahahahaha karma’s a thing, you know!
Thi H. Nguyen– I was boarding a flight from Houston to LAX. I prefer aisle seats because I am not only claustrophobic, I also use the restroom a lot on planes. The air on planes just makes my mouth and throat feel like cotton and I drink a lot of water as a result and in general I would just prefer not to have to repeatedly walk over others on my way to the lavatory. On this particular flight, I had booked the last available aisle seat and it was in the back of the plane about 2 to 3 rows from the last row. There were middle and window seats toward the front of the aircraft, but my preference for aisle seats is very strong.
When I boarded the flight, I noticed there was a kid in my aisle seat. He was with his family. His dad was seated next to him in the middle seat, His mother and sister were both sitting one row behind them in aisle seats across from each other. The son’s original seat was a middle seat next to his sister. A number of things irked me about the arrangement.
1) They had all settled and buckled in already assuming that whoever came on board (me) would be happy to give up their seat. The mother promptly got in my face and pointed to her son’s empty middle seat and said “Excuse me, would you mind to sit here instead?” Her tone of voice indicated that she expected me to say yes.
2) Had they kept their original arrangement, the kids would have been sitting in the same row as their mother and not unaccompanied. The father, a grown man, would have been by himself in the middle seat just one row ahead. Both kids looked over 10 years old.
3) They had an aisle seat available amongst them for exchange (where the mother was sitting) but elected not to arrange it such that they could switch it for my equivalent aisle seat. Instead they wanted me to exchange my aisle seat for a middle seat.
I am generally a very nice person and will respond favorably to any polite request (within reason of course). In this situation, I promptly and firmly replied, “NO, I prefer my aisle seat.” I felt a tad of guilt wash over me as I stood while the mother looked shocked and went through the motions of having her son unbuckle and move back to his middle seat as I took my aisle seat next to the father. I didn’t think I was in the wrong, but like I said I generally like to be nice and I knew that from the outside it looked like I was breaking up a family. After we all sat down again, mother and two kids in one row, father in the row ahead next to me, another young lady came down the aisle looking perplexed. It turns out the aisle seat the mother was sitting in was actually this young lady’s seat. Not only had they commandeered my aisle seat, they had commandeered another passenger’s aisle seat as well and had all been sitting comfortably, buckled in presumptuously. Unfortunately, the young lady’s English was poor and with a look of confusion she feebly complied with the mother’s “request” to take the middle seat about 5 rows ahead, which was the mother’s original seat. At that point, I felt absolutely no guilt at all.
I don’t think that you are ever obliged to give your seat up and you don’t owe anyone an explanation either. Of course, there’s no need to be a jerk about it either. Just decline politely. It’s one of those situations where it doesn’t hurt to ask. Of course, I think it’s a nice thing to do to try to accommodate as long as THEY are being nice as well. I think the other person’s approach and attitude are key in addition to your own preferences. Every situation is a little different as I hope my story demonstrates. However, I think a good rule of thumb is that it’s a non-starter unless they start by offering up their best seat in exchange as others have already mentioned.
The post What is the best or most diplomatic way to say “no” if someone asks you to swap seats with them on an airplane? appeared first on Aviation Gossip.